250617

04.30

at dawn, Eid morning

she woke me up
saw him there
lying peacefully
stayed still
i held his hand
no tears at all
closed my eyes
hoping he’d just
pass out for a moment

 

05.54
sat outside the ER
the doctor came up to me
he’s gone, she said
the world within me
crumbled down
no strength to walk
let alone to see his face

06.20:
i didn’t wanna go inside
too unbearable i thought
so i sat outside alone
ended up hurting myself
go ask the hospital walls
of how i got these bruises
i just wanted to wake up
from this nightmare

07.10
there they came
best friends at all times
sisters i never knew i needed

07.30
no flashback
no regrets
lies i kept telling to myself
to ease the pain
feel the regret
filling up my chest
painful it was
no words came out of my mouth
did he know how much i love him
did he know how much i care

13.40
it’s all real
i saw him in there
in a coffin
i saw him lying there
looked so peaceful
i saw him there
in a suit
that i wish he would wear
on my wedding day

23.59:
there
still i hope
when i wake up
it all will be
a dream

//
when a daughter lost her father.
It’s been a month already, Pa. I miss you like crazy