It’s funny how we call some places “home” even when they aren’t ours to claim. But I’ve realized that home is not a physical place — it’s a feeling. A quiet knowing that you belong.
I remember it vividly, back in 2018 I applied for a job in Bali (which I didn’t get and broke my heart lol). I would always imagined what it felt like to live there. I’d wander through Google strret view to picture every corner of the street. I wondered how it would feel like to live in the island of gods.
Fast forward to late 2021 — covid hit big time, it reshaped the way we live, and people were forced to work from home. And at the time, I left my previous job for a remote job that allowed me to work from anywhere. That’s when I thought “Maybe I should try living in Bali for a couple of months and see how it goes“.
A dream I once held in 2018 had quietly become a reality years later. You will never know where the universe will take you in the years ahead. Things may not make sense right now but when the time comes, the dots will connect and you will understand why things didn’t work out the way you wanted it.
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
Oh Mama Bali,
You have been a sweet, peaceful fortress for me these past three years. You heal parts of me I’ve kept to myself without even trying — simply by being you. You let me take the time that I need to sit with my emotions as I figure out each day.
I sought solace under your water — where you revealed beauty I had never seen under this seemingly terrifying waters. You taught me to be alive even when I hold my breath. You grace me with a lesson to be comfortable with the discomfort from venturing into the unknowns, and that there’s so much to explore when I let myself give in. You reminded me that fear will always be a part of me, but true liberation is only achieved when I stop let it take the lead, not fully eliminating it.
I found a respite in your stillness — where you taught me to slow down, not to rush, and to be present — to listen to my own thoughts while the sound of the waves accompanies me as I pour my feelings out in these papers, and to filter out the noise that I didn’t know I was carrying. You gave me space to simply be me — unapologetically me.
I found comfort in your nature — in every breeze these trees breathe away and the scent of frangipani lingered in the air add a layer of sweetness as I start my day. How the waves that rolled in and out greeting me each time I stepped onto the beach. A gentle reminder that the world can be both wild and tender at once.
I found an elixir to my chaos in your simplicity — in the birds that chirped, greeting me by the window every morning. Where you once made me worry but giggled at the same time when I lost my glasses while swimming in Seminyak beach and yet a few days later, you gave me 100k rupiah in return when I swam in Padang-Padang beach. Oh Mama laut, it’s so funny, how could I ever forget it?
I found warmth in your people — how they rejoice you, respect you, and keep you alive. The smell of burning incense and the prayers humbly offered. The sound of Gamelan played by young people in Banjar. The offerings they set off to the ocean, carrying prayers, hopes, and a gratitude to the higher power. How they once stopped just to ask me if they could be of help when I pulled over because I had a flat tire.
Mama Bali, thank you. Thank you for always reminding me in every possible way that in a world that constantly takes and takes and takes, you give me the space for me to pour and fill my own cup. You come as a reminder that life can be slower, softer, and still full of meaning.
Bali didn’t change my life in a loud, dramatic way — it simply reminded me to look deeper in me and in my surroundings, and to notice; the big moments but mostly the small ones— in the sway of the trees, the rhythm of the waves, and the kindness of everyday encounters.
You are my safe haven — a space for me to listen, to reflect, and to learn and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Whenever I feel the world is too chaotic, I’ll shut my eyes and run to the secret beach in my mind where I sit quietly, listening to the waves.
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
There’s a saying that it’s not you who choose Bali, it’s Bali who chooses you. One day, when I am worthy enough of you, I will make you my forever home. And let this be a prayer I shout to God and this universe and I know everything will conspire to make it happen. Astungkara.
Thank you for choosing me.
Matur suksma.
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